About

Stephanie Carroll
U&E Founder & Author
Photo by Randy Enriquez
I married my husband who was already in the US Navy when I was 19. We did the courthouse wedding followed by a ceremony three years later. Even though we married after only six months of dating, I felt like an outsider for the first half of our marriage. He didn't understand what I needed to know about the Navy and deployment survival, and I didn't know what to ask. At that time blogs were unheard of and the internet was not the playground it is today. Navy Wife help online was unheard of.

It took years to learn the ropes by trial and error and after ten years of marriage in the Navy, I founded Unhinged & Empowered Navy Wives & Navy Girlfriends. I wanted to spread my knowledge and help other Navy Girlfriends and Navy Wives who are new to this world and reveal to them what it took years for me to learn: the moments when you feel the weakest and craziest are actually the moments that reveal how strong you really are.   
Cover Design by Jenny Q
  
In addition to being a Navy Wife, I am also a novelist. I write historical women's fiction, and many of the themes in my work are inspired by my Navy Wife experiences although I don't write about the military. My first novel A White Room debuted in July 2013 and it is about a woman forced to sacrifice her own ambitions to marry a man she hardly knows. He moves her to a strange, small town where she slowly succumbs to madness. Sound familiar?
;-) 

Become a VIP reader at www.stephaniecarroll.net and purchase A White Room on Amazon US, Amazon UK or Amazon Canada. Find my author page @CarrollBooks on Twitter Facebook, and on Pinterest too!

Get notified about my next book!




12 comments:

  1. Good luck with your blog book tour! I am also a Navy wife who is afraid of spiders. Like you, I've used the dustbuster to catch them, but I've never been brave enough to empty it afterwards. I just seal the spidery dustbuster in a plastic bag with duct tape so nothing can escape and buy a new one. Nanette (thesailorswoman.wordpress.com)

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    1. Thank you Nanette for commenting and for your well wishes and for your comment about the spiders in the dustbuster! I laughed so hard! I took a look at your blog! Very cute! I like it. =)

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  2. I'm a Navy girlfriend and I absolutely love this! I just spent the evening reading every single post. <3
    Although, I do have a problem.. I've been with my boyfriend for about two months and we are moving in together (right now) due to him deploying. We were going to wait until he got back in 6 months, but we are rushing it now due to some circumstances. How do we explain this to family and friends who believe we are rushing into things?

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    1. Hi Anonymous, thank you for commenting and for reading! I am thrilled that you have enjoyed the posts on this blog and found them helpful. I can completely relate to your question as my husband and I moved in together after only seeing each other for six months and eloped not long after, not because we wanted to leave everyone out but because we were preparing for his deployment.

      How do you explain this to people? Tell them the truth, explain the circumstances, and then let it go. The reality is that some people will be understanding and supportive and others won't. You won’t be able to control that. Not everyone will relate or understand, but that doesn't have to mean anything or affect you and your boyfriend.

      Before you tell people, just make sure you are both confident in your decision, that you know exactly why you are doing what you are doing, and know that you don’t need anyone’s approval. If they are discouraging, let them know you have already made your decision and are happy with it. Tell them you don’t need advice or to be talked out of it but you just want their support.

      Be prepared for some people to bring up the possibilities of what could go wrong or why it could be a bad decision. Be respectful and gracious. Most of these people are not trying to be mean or unsupportable. They are just looking out for you because they care. Just let them know that you are aware of the possibilities, and that you appreciate their concern and that they are looking out for you, but you have thought it through and are happy and confident in your decision.

      I hope this helps anonymous and I wish you and your Sailor all the luck in the world. It takes a strong woman to be a Navy Girlfriend and that’s exactly what you are.

      Sincerely,
      Stephanie Carroll
      U&E Founder
      Author of “A White Room”

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  3. I am a soon to be Navy wife. One who is currently planning a wedding during a deployment and I have never felt so unhinged. That being said, it was really comforting to read what you ladies had to say and it gave me a sense of peace and empowerment.
    I started my own blog just a few days ago as a way to try and channel my inner thoughts and decrease the outer screaming. It would mean a lot to me if any of you took the time to read it, but if you are unable to I am still thankful for finding you and knowing that I am not alone and all of the feelings I have are not unusual.
    http://abc123writingfree.blogspot.com
    Have a wonderful day,
    Elizabeth

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    1. Thank you Elizabeth and Congratulations on your engagement! I'm so happy that U&E has been helpful and I'm sure your blog will be helpful to yourself and others. I took a look and I think it's a gteat start! Wishing you all the best with your engagement and writing! I can tell you are strong and capable and I know you are going to do great!

      Sincerely,
      Stephanie Carroll
      U&E Founder

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  4. Hi, I am a young soon to be Navy Girlfriend. My boyfriend has already signed his contract and has basic in November. I am extremely nervous. I support him 100%. I just don't know what I'm going to do for 2 months without him. Its nerve racking...

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    1. Hi Alexis,

      Thanks for commenting. It's okay to be nervous and it's okay to be upset, sad, or even angry at times about the separation process. That's all normal, but you sound like a strong an independent person who can handle it.

      The key is to stay busy. Go out with friends, take on projects, try new things. Find ways to reward yourself for getting through the process, like having a weekly movie night or weekly night out. Also establish a routine. These things are helpful to make the time go by.

      Accept that there will be moments when it sucks and when it's going to be hard but also accept that you are capable of making it through. And remember that you are an active part of this. Your Sailor is training and so are you.

      Don't worry. You got this.
      Keep reading the blog and check out our Facebook group for even more support.

      Sincerely,
      Stephanie Carroll
      Author & U&E Founder

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  5. Hi, my boyfriend and I have been together for two years now. He just signed his contract for the special forces diving program and is set to leave on August 2nd. During his basic training, is he aloud to contact me via phone calls or emails? Its just a lot to process and I find myself getting really sad. I support him 100%. Its just unsettling when I dont know when hes going to be able to call or when his time off is

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    1. Hi Anonymous,

      Thank you for commenting. You may benefit from checking out our post What to Expect When Your Boyfriend Signs Up for the Navy: (http://www.unhingedandempowered.com/2016/02/what-to-expect-when-your-boyfriend.html)

      As far as communication, he has time to write you once a week but he will be tired and probably not have too much time so he might not write a lot. He will be able to make a phone call maybe only once or twice during basic.

      When it's your first separation, this sounds really scary, but it's doable with the right attitude which is what it sounds like you have.

      A couple things to keep in mind. First, a part of basic is breaking the Sailor's dependency on his personal relationships because a part of his job will be to go on detachments and deployments and be separated from loved ones with minimal contact. Second, this is your training too. As I said his job will require him to go away for long periods of time. You will actually get to talk more during those deployments than you will during basic.

      It sounds scary, but it gets easier and you really do get trained to handle it. Many, many girlfriends and spouses do this and you can do it too. Keep reading the blog for some great advice on how to handle the separation and consider joining our Facebook group where you can ask questions and get more support.

      You got this. You are strong and committed to your Sailor-in-training. You can do this.

      Sincerely,
      Stephanie Carroll
      Author & U&E Founder
      www.stephaniecarroll.net

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  6. What're your thoughts on a couple that has been together for two years and my boyfriend just now getting ready in a couple of months to go active duty as an MP? We talk about marriage and a house together. We even have baby names picked out already. He leaves the 23rd of August to go to basic training. I don't plan on moving or marrying him right away. My only concern for our relationship is that there will probably be a WW3. I think I have more anxiety about that than us not working out.

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  7. Hi Anonymous,

    War is a scary thing and even more so for those who have loved ones serving in a time of war. However modern day warfare is not as bad as it used to be, there r far fewer fatalities or even direct combat and an MP rate has even fewer opportunities to be involved in battle as they operate more like policeman for the bases. Unfortunately, fear of something happening to ur loved one is something that all of us bear, but it's something you can handle. Surround yourself with supportive people, pursue your own projects, hobbies, and goals, and continue to do what you are doing - researching and learning about what to expect.

    My overall point here is that you are not alone in your concerns but you can also survive these concerns as a couple and become even stronger for it.

    I hope this answers your question and I wish you and your to-be Sailor all the best in the future.

    Sincerely,
    Stephanie Carroll
    www.stephaniecarroll.net

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I love, love your comments and questions! Just remember to not mention any security info about your Sailor! Thank you!

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