Tuesday, July 19, 2016

5 Tips to on How to Make Friends in a New Place

Public Domain via Pixabay
So we got a question on the forum about how to make friends in a new place, and I thought this was a great idea for a post but as I started to write, it felt really familiar. After a little search using the U&E search bar, I realized I've done several posts like this one, but not exactly.

So here are the articles I, or guest bloggers, have done on similar topics, but I also have five tips to ad to this list.

Find Something to Do

Get Out of the House

Ovecome Your Fears

Get Involved in Something

It's Okay if It Isn't Easy

My Additional Tips

1. Work/Volunteer
I think the primary way people make friends is by meeting people through work, but not everyone works or can even find a job, so then what? Volunteer! Volunteering is an amazing way to not only meet knew people but to find fulfillment and purpose in life. It can also be a way to gain work experience and or get involved with the military community. 
In your local community you will find homeless shelters, domestic abuse support, churches (who also know of volunteer opportunities), and feeding programs. You can also get ideas from: 

In the military you will find the:

2. Join a Club/Team
A great way to get to know people is to form a cohesive group that has to work together to accomplish something. 

Common clubs include book clubs, cooking clubs, knitting clubs, etc.
Find clubs using: 

Common adult sports can be discovered on your city/county's recreation department website. Check out: 

3. Take a Class/Workshop
Similar to volunteering or joining a club, by taking a class or workshop you are gathering with a bunch of people who you know are interested in at least one thing that you are. Now the next step is to find one of them that you can connect with.
A lot of the above sites will help you find classes and workshops, but also try local Community Education programs, sometimes associated with colleges. Also art galleries, museums, and libraries often hold classes. Again, your local recreation department should also have some classes listed, but for more assistance visit: 

Take Lessons (music, art, variety)

4. Join a Church
Don't just go to church, join a Bible study group, attend their events, volunteer for a ministry, get involved. Church folk get a bad rap now adays, but they are some of the most honest, nicest, and welcoming people. Join a Bible study group, take a class, join a church club, or volunteer for a church ministry.

5.  Be the One Who Reaches Out
If you really want to make friends, you can't wait around for someone to reach out to you. I myself get frustrated sometimes because it feels like I'm the only one calling people to hang out or I'm always the one that hits them up on Facebook, and that makes me want to throw my hands up and say "No they've got to call me." The problem with this thinking is that they might be feeling the same way, which means they probably aren't going to call and they'll be sad because you didn't call them. 

Shaking Hands by Chris-Havard Berge via Flickr cc.

Reaching out is also something you need to force yourself to do when you go to volunteer, join a club, attend a workshop or a church because being surrounded by people doesn't mean they are all courageous enough to say, "Hi, my name is blank." Oftentimes, if no one is introducing themselves, it's because they are just as nervous or shy about it as you are, so help them out and face your fear.

It's important to talk when you go to these group activities because even if you meet all kinds of people, they might not develop into a bunch of friendships because a friend is someone you can hang out with outside of those activities, so you need to talk to people to discover who you connect with. Then you need to ask those individuals to do something outside of the group, like join you and your husband/boyfriend for dinner, go to a movie, have a play date with your kids, or do a game night. 

I'm not going to lie, I'm not always good at this, so here are some additional advice articles on the art of reaching out:

Need More?
Buzzfeeds 17 Smart Ways to Meet New People When You Move 

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About Stephanie Carroll
U&E Founder & Author

Buy Her Book A White Room!

Photo by Randy Enriquez
I dated and married my husband in 2004 when I was 19. I felt like an outsider for the first half of our marriage. He didn't understand what I needed to know about the Navy, and I didn't know what to ask.

After ten years of learning in the Navy, I founded Unhinged & Empowered. I wanted to spread the knowledge that I needed when I was new, to reveal what took years for me to learn.   
Cover Design by Jenny Q
In addition to being a Navy Wife, I am also a novelist. I write historical women's fiction.

My first novel A White Room debuted in 2013 and is about a woman forced to sacrifice her own ambitions of becoming a nurse to marry a man who can save her destitute family. He moves her to a strange, small town where she slowly succumbs to madness until she stumbles on an opportunity to nurse to the poor despite the fact that her husband prosecutes unlicensed practitioners.

Learn more at www.stephaniecarroll.net and connect with me @CarrollBooks on Twitter, Facebook, or on Pinterest!

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