Friday, May 27, 2016

How to Stay Connected During Deployment

You Asked for It!!!
Got Credit by Connect via Flickr cc.

Katie Smith & Suz Bennett asked how to stay connected to your Sailor when all you have is little or no communication?

My Suggestions

1. Get Intimate.
That's right! Sex emails! This might feel awkward at first, but just write what you would actually do. It doesn't have to be a porno, but what is cool is that if you get comfortable you can then write about things you would never or could never do, like sex in public or with multiple partners. Just be clear before you get adventurous that it's for email form only, lol.

If you are not comfortable with that, there are other ways to do this. You could send him a pair of panties in his care package, or once I sent a piece of paper with lipstick kisses all over it. Just don't forget if you bring in a box of stuff to a UPS or similar location to pack it for you, which is how I used to do it, they will find said panties and ask you if you meant to include them. Face palm.

For security purposes everything sent to the boat via email or package is scanned, but don't worry, no one is sitting around reading your dirty emails or sniffing your panties before they get to your Sailor.

2. Get Romantic.
This is a little bit sweeter. My husband actually wrote out 100 reasons why he loves me. He wrote me love poems and prose.

I sent him clips of romantic poetry I was reading in my lit classes and creative stories about imagined adventures we could go on. We exchanged emails on trips we'd go on and things we would do one day. Using your imagination is key!

3. Get Creative.
I love the idea of leaving hand written notes in packs or notes with "To Be Opened When . . ." Or keeping separate journals of your time apart to be exchanged upon return. This is something that couples who have to go without any communication can really benefit from.

4. Get Understanding.
There's a sense of disconnecting that happens when your Sailor goes away and this happens because of psychological reasons. It used to drive me insane until I finally understood what was going on and then it didn't feel so much like being abandoned anymore.

There are reasons why he only sends short emails once a day and why he sometimes doesn't seem to have read everything from your emails. So ask questions, and you'll find that the answers will provide not only clarification but will also help that feeling of disconnect to diminish. It will also improve how you communicate because you understand his situation.

5. Get Techie
There are some really cool apps that can help you stay connected and feel like he's just down the street instead of across the planet. I really liked email to text apps that allowed him to send messages to my phone as a text and it made it feel like he was there like normal. The only thing is that when the time gap becomes too big, you can't get the texts while you are awake, but this time change happens gradually so you are kind of weened off.

10 Best Apps for Military Families

8 Apps to Make Your Marriage Even Better

The Best Apps for Military Families.

Here's Some More Ideas!

This has some good ones for those who don't have any communication with their Sailors.

A lot of times it's just hard to communicate via writing and only writing so these tips can be useful.

Keep in mind that this isn't directed at military significant others so some tips might not apply but I chose this for the tips that do.

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About Stephanie Carroll
U&E Founder & Author
Buy Her Book A White Room!
Photo by Randy Enriquez
I dated and married my husband in 2004 when I was 19. I felt like an outsider for the first half of our marriage. He didn't understand what I needed to know about the Navy, and I didn't know what to ask.

After ten years of learning in the Navy, I founded Unhinged & Empowered. I wanted to spread the knowledge that I needed when I was new, to reveal what took years for me to learn.   
Cover Design by Jenny Q
In addition to being a Navy Wife, I am also a novelist. I write historical women's fiction.

My first novel A White Room debuted in 2013 and is about a woman forced to sacrifice her own ambitions of becoming a nurse to marry a man who can save her destitute family. He moves her to a strange, small town where she slowly succumbs to madness until she stumbles on an opportunity to nurse to the poor despite the fact that her husband prosecutes unlicensed practitioners.

Learn more at and connect with me @CarrollBooks on Twitter, Facebook, or on Pinterest!

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