Wednesday, February 6, 2013

Reasons to Look Forward to Deployment

photo credit: The U.S. Army via photopin cc
A couple weeks ago I posted a request for things you guys do to prepare for debt or deployment. The inspiration for the post was that even though my husband has been doing workups for over six months, we had a nice long stretch of him not going away. When the next debt came up, I was suddenly clingy and worried about him even though his debt was going to be short, like less than a month. Plus, we have a cruise coming, so I should have my butt in gear and ready for this by now!

When the workup cycles got heavy, I felt like a pro. I had all kinds of tips and tricks for myself to not only prepare for him to leave, but I even got to a point where I looked forward to the things that change when he goes away.  

That just sounded crazy, didn’t it? You look forward to when your husband goes away?

photo credit: colorblindPICASO via photopin cc
Don’t get me wrong, I am not jumping for joy. But, I know for a fact, I’m not the only one who has felt this way. It doesn’t really start to be something you look forward to until you’ve gone through it more than once. The first time I felt that way, I certainly questioned my sanity and succumbed to guilt, but eventually, I used it to my advantage.

It’s nothing to feel bad about. Really if you think about it, what other possible reaction could we have to all these comings and goings than to find reasons to enjoy the time they are away? It’s not crazy. It’s quite normal and quite useful for preparing for those long detachments.

But as I said, I hadn’t been working out those muscles for a while, and it was as if my skills of accepting him leaving had disappeared. The good news is, when you’ve practiced something as much as workups make you practice, well, you know what they say about bicycles.

After he left, I remembered all those things that I look forward to when he’s gone, and they are a really useful tool. It's something to focus on that’s positive about him going away. It helps to remember those things when you are preparing for him to leave, and it helps to focus on those things while he is away rather than focus on the parts you don't enjoy. So here is my list – a combination of my tips and some other's tricks from Facebook comments, and I hope it might be of some help to you too.

photo credit: apdk via photopin cc
Top Ten Reasons to Look Forward to Your Husband’s Next Debt

      1.      I’m going to have time to get all of that stuff I’ve been putting off done, finally.

      2.      I’m going to have enough time to get all that stuff done and relax by doing what I want to do, hello “Army Wives” marathon on Netflix!

      3.      Speaking of watching TV, that remote control is all mine! Huhuahuahua! (Thank you Heather for that comment!)

      4.      Well, he’s gone, so I have a good excuse to hire someone to come in and do the project he’s been putting off! He can't get mad. I'm in charge of these things while he is away. Good afternoon Mr. Plumber.

      5.      This house is mine, and we are going to run it my way. Time to change some things. Now, we eat low fat mayonnaise and 100 percent whole wheat bread. 

      6.      No more little habits. We all got them, and those of our significant other always drive us crazy but not when they are gone. Toilet paper will be on the role! Empty sugar packets will be thrown out! Or if you are me who is the one whose naughty habits I just described, I will never put the toilet paper on the roll, and no one will care that I’m using empty Splenda packets to decorate my counter.  =)

photo credit: quinn.anya via photopin cc
     7.      I no longer have to do the laundry every week. Wow ... he is really going through all those clothes, and yet he complains about how often I change. Obviously, this one depends on the age and number of children. If they are older than 16, get those kids in the laundry room to wash their own chonies! 

     8.      Dude my grocery bill just went down $100!!!

     9.     I put my stuff away after I use it, and I put each dish in the dishwasher when I’m done with it. It's suddenly so easy to keep things clean. Wait hasn’t he been blaming that on me? Gasp! Or if you are me, I can let the dishes build in the sink until the weekend. Paper plates for dinner tonight! I guess I didn’t really gasp when I realized he’s been blaming it on me. =/

photo credit: Su-chan via photopin cc

    10.  Do what I want, when I want. Ladies, pedicure and wine night at my house!

Ok, not many of these involve children because I just got Chihuahuas at the moment. I need some other wives to add to this list. I don’t have all the knowledge and experience in the world – this blog needs yours too! Not just wives with children, every wife has a unique circumstance. 

What are some of your tips and tricks for looking forward to the man getting out of the house?

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About Stephanie Carroll
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I dated and married my husband in 2004 when I was 19. I felt like an outsider for the first half of our marriage. He didn't understand what I needed to know about the Navy, and I didn't know what to ask.

After ten years of learning in the Navy, I founded Unhinged & Empowered. I wanted to spread the knowledge that I needed when I was new, to reveal what took years for me to learn.   
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  1. very nice post :) I had to giggle at the grocery bill going down. SERIOUSLY! :)

  2. Thanks Pinky! ;)

    What are some things that you look forward to in order to help prepare for a departure? Does anything get easier with your children when he leaves or is their anything that you look forward to with your children when he leaves like extra time with them or being in complete control of the permissions etc.?

    Thanks again for commenting!!! =)


  3. My kids seem to get away with more when he is gone cause I am just plain tuckered out!! I give myself 2 days after they leave to be sad, eat junk food, watch guilty pleasure t.v. then it is back to real life. I need that time to mourn him being gone. I cuddle with the kids a lot more and we talk about how we miss dad and what we are looking forward to doing with him gone. Trips to the zoo? Swimming at the pool every night when it is hot? Pancakes for dinner? Those are the things that help make deployments more enjoyable.

    1. Thanks for commenting Anonymous!

      I love that you give yourself two days to mourn! I do that too, always get junk food the day he leaves and find a good movie or some serious drama TV!

      I love some of the things you do with your kids when he is gone too, pancakes for dinner, swimming in the pool every night - it sounds like something children will always remember as a magical experience. I imagine that type of bonding with the kids is really something special!

      Do you think those experiences help give your children something to look forward to as well when Dad is gone? Or do they not quite realize it's happening because Dad is gone?


I love, love your comments and questions! Just remember to not mention any security info about your Sailor! Thank you!

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